It is a common believe that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. This is very true for a particular friend of mine. The conversation went like this...
Julie needs to pack her clothes and RU486's
Is RU-486 the morning after pill?
Yeah, but Julie you call it breakfast
Michael Jackson recently died and there are millions of people around the world mourning his death. I know a certain sector of the population that are not so sad and this quote is dedicated to them...
"Michael Jackson died and millions of adolescent boys are sleeping easier"
I was watching Chopped on Food Network this week and the gist of the show is there are 4 chefs competing against each other and 1 chef is chopped after each round. This week there was a particularly cocky chef that thought everything he touched turned to gold. The following is an awesome quote from one of his competitors...
"If you have to tell people you're awesome you're probably not"
This week my favorite NHL team (Detroit Red Wings) played the Columbus Blue Jackets in the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The game was blacked out for me and was not available on any of the channels that are part of my packages (including NHL Center Ice). To make a long story short, I had to add the Sports Package ($11/month) to watch one game and after the game I canceled the package and that incurred another $10 fee. After sending 2 emails, talking with 3 representatives, and threatening to cancel my service I was informed of the following...
"We cannot stop your account from being charged the $10 for canceling the sports package and we can't credit your account $10 to offset the termination fee. It is against corporate policy. I can give you the DVR service ($6/month) free for 6 months instead" -DirecTVGreat business model! I'm not complaining by any means, but I find it very sad that DirecTV thinks they come out ahead giving me $36 of free service over $10. I haven't heard of awesome math skills like these since listening to Verizon Math.
To commemorate the start of the NHL playoffs and the quest for Lord Stanley's Cup I thought it fitting to post one of my favorite hockey kwohts. I don't remember exactly who originally said it, but I've heard it several times over the past several years.
"If you're not injured you're not playing hard enough" -Anonymous Announcer
Today's quote isn't necessarily a quote, it is more of a definition, but it's spot on. This is from an annual contest held at Texas A&M for the best definition for a contemporary term. I, nor anybody I associate with, are anywhere close to being politically correct which makes this all the more appropriate for an awesome kwoht.
"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end" -2007 Winner
My friend Mickey is the father of the cutest baby girl and was given some sound parenting advice from his father-in-law.
"The toughest thing about having a daughter is keeping her off the pole."Words to live by. I am grateful to all the fathers out there that throw caution to the wind because I love getting your daughter's tatas in my face for $1.
